It has always seemed to me that broken things, just like broken people, get used more; it’s probably because God has more pieces to work with.
Waiting is not just about what I get at the end of the wait; it’s about who I become as I wait.
6 With what shall I come before the Lord
and bow down before the exalted God?
Shall I come before him with burnt offerings,
with calves a year old?
7 Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams,
with ten thousand rivers of olive oil?
Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression,
the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?
8 He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly[a] with your God.
- Micah 6:6-8
13 Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated, common men, they were astonished. And they recognized that they had been with Jesus. (Acts 4:13 ESV)
One day Jesus said to his disciples: “I’d like you to carry a stone for Me.” He didn’t give any explanation. So the disciples looked around for a stone to carry, and Peter, being the practical sort, sought out the smallest stone he could possibly find. After all, Jesus didn’t give any regulations for weight and size! So he put it in his pocket. Jesus then said: “Follow Me.” he led them on a journey. About noontime Jesus had everyone sit down. He waved his hands and all the stones turned to bread. He said, “Now it’s time for lunch.” In a few seconds, Peter’s lunch was over. When lunch was done Jesus told them to stand up. He said again, “I’d like you to carry a stone for Me.” This time Peter said, “Aha! Now I get it!” So he looked around and saw a small boulder. He hoisted it on his back and it was painful, it made him stagger. But he said, “I can’t wait for supper.”Jesus then said: “Follow Me” He led them on a journey, with Peter barely being able to keep up. Around supper time Jesus led them to the side of a river. he said, “Now everyone throw your stones into the water.” They did. Then he said, “Follow Me,” and began to walk. Peter and the others looked at him dumbfounded. Jesus sighed and said, “Don’t you remember what i asked you to do? Who were you carrying the stone for?”
Elisabeth Elliot recounts and apocryphal story (NOT IN THE BIBLE!) about Jesus that conveys the difference between a results-oriented selfishness and a faithfulness born of love - Prodigal God
Pressing onward. Moving on. But with no clear sight or passion in a pivotal moment in my life. The time is ticking away.
Help me find my own flame Father. I want your burning desire. Pin me down and take away this heart of stone. Let me see that this is all for you and you alone. Allow me to see that waiting for an answer is to be active in searching. Always remind me of your beauty that fills my broken and wretched soul that is continually being showered with grace.
For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:11 ESV)